Monday, May 31, 2010

The Adventures of Pammie-Wammie and Frandolino

This was written for my fabulous mother, Pam, for Christmas two years ago. Last year, I gave her a sequel. :)

Pammie-Wammie was a sweet young woman that loved chocolate and computers and hated dirty dishes. She had a pet fish, the wonderful Frandolino, who liked to eat chocolate with her and never dirtied any dishes. They were the best of friends.

It was an ordinary day, Pammie-Wammie was munching on some cocoa puffs while Frandolino just glub-glubbed his way along when the ungrateful family beast, Dabume, dropped a stack of icky-sticky dishes into the sink. Pammie-Wammie cried out, “Can’t you at least rinse your dishes? I hate dirty dishes!”

Dabume just grunted and retreated back into its lair under Pammie-Wammie’s computer room. Pammie-Wammie sighed and rested her chin in her hands. “Frandolino, does Dabume hate me? He knows I hate dirty dishes.”

Frandolino just glubbed.

Pammie-Wammie decided to teach Dabume a lesson so she ignored the dishes and continued to for days. She ate chocolate and played computer games and talked to Frandolino while Dabume’s yucky-mucky dishes continued to pile up.

Pammie-Wammie came downstairs the sixth day of dish-ignoring and found Frandolino gone! There was a ransom note by the mountain of icky-sticky, yucky-mucky dishes. It said that if Pammie-Wammie ever wanted to see poor Frandolino again, she’d have to go where Dabume had taken him, the Land of Dirty Dishes!

Pammie-Wammie nervously ate some Oreos as she stared at her computer screen, wondering what she should do. Finally, she typed ‘Land of Dirty Dishes’ into Google, hoping for some answers. Thankfully, the helpful paperclip showed up on the screen and provided her with a map to the hated land.

With a freshly printed map to the Land of Dirty Dishes, Pammie-Wammie set off to find Frandolino. Her first stop was the local 9-to-5 to pick up a Coke and a chocolate churro. Churros were Frandolino’s favorite.

She could almost hear Frandolino glub.

Her next stop was the dreaded white table forest. As Pammie-Wammie snaked her way through the hospital-table wannabes, she nervously munched on her chocolate churro. And by the time she reached the third part of her adventure, it was gone.

Pammie-Wammie found herself on a boat once she was through the white table forest. A calming boat ride did her conscience some good but not the chocolate churro. When she reached the fifth part of her journey, her face was green from the combination of the boat ride and chocolate churro not agreeing.

The fifth leg of her journey shocked Pammie-Wammie, she was back at her own house! Cautiously, she opened the door and softly called, “Dabume? Are you here?” Dabume didn’t answer.

Frandolino didn’t glub either.

Pammie-Wammie sighed while she made her way through the long hallway to the computer room, right next to the kitchen. She sat down at her desk and promptly shredded the map. Obviously, the paperclip was a brat. It had told her that her own house was the dreaded Land of Dirty Dishes.

In need of more chocolate, Pammie-Wammie went to the fridge to get her secret stash of chocolate pudding that she kept for emergencies such as this. When the pudding was gone, all too soon, Pammie-Wammie set her cup and spoon in the sink, then slumped down to the floor, not bothering to reach her desk.

Wait, thought Pammie-Wammie, she’d actually put her dishes IN the sink? She jumped to her feet and peered timidly into the silver basin, only to find her dirty cup and spoon, and Frandolino! Pammie-Wammie squee’d in excitement, before she hugged Frandolino’s bowl to her chest. “I’ve missed you so much!”

Dabume slunk up behind her and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for all that, Pammie-Wammie,” he said, scratchily. “But I needed you out of the house in order to take care of these dirty dishes. And that was the only method I could think of.”

“Well,” Pammie-Wammie considered her response carefully. “You’re forgiven, I suppose. So long as you promise to rinse your dishes from now on.” Dabume gruntingly agreed and they both signed the treaty of Dish-Wash-ika.

And Frandolino glubbed.

The Legend of Jacquelyn Sonja Irabeli

Please enjoy the rather morbid short story I wrote in 8th grade based on a picture of a beautiful woman with dark hair, rich lips, pale skin and a lovely hat. Also, please pardon the awkward terribleness of this, I did write it in 8th grade, many years ago.

“Some claim it’s a myth. Some claim that it’s just a made up story. Some believe it to be true. But few believe the actual truth.

“Many people knew Jacquelyn Sonja Irabeli before the tragedy of her death. And when most of the many learned the truth, they forever kept their distance and created stories that now swarm the inhabitants of small town Mironda and people even believe these made up stories themselves, replacing truth with fiction. People have said that she was always bad luck; that odd things seemed to happen in her presence. That’s just one of the many myths that were created. Jacquelyn’s death was her rising moment. It’s strange how people often gain a status of fame shortly after death.

“This tragic death of which I speak is the true story of Jacquelyn Sonja Irabeli. I am only one the few that knows the reality of her life and death and can tell all of the truths from the myths. Though I will bet you that I am one of the only people that will actually tell you the facts. Stay if you wish to listen, leave if you do not. For what I tell you from here on is the actual story and if you have problems with it you should have left.

“Jacquelyn’s green eyes and medium length, thick, wavy, golden hair most often found in a classy style, kept her popular with boys and things that she wore were a must in any girl’s wardrobe. You must be thinking that Jacquelyn could be nothing but the happiest girl in the world. Well she wasn’t. The emerald orbs few call eyes, but myths call a demon’s curse, held nothing, and seemed to have scars running through them as bold as wrinkles on someone’s face that has come of age. The emerald voids that were her eyes were wounded from being hurt emotionally too many times. But in her death she gained something. Equivalent exchange, right? It’s the way of the world. To get something you must first give up something of equal value. She gained a peace of mind and the happiness she had longed for her whole life and thought she would find only in love. And now she roams the world of spirits and haunts the world of the living, Jacquelyn’s peace of mind accenting her mocking and sarcastic personality as a ghost.

“To everyone Jacquelyn’s life seemed grand. To her she would simply state ‘If home is where the love is and love is where the trust is, then I guess I’m homeless.’ You can see that she had some problems but one day Jacquelyn just couldn’t take any more. Expectations, expectations, expectations. Everyone expected Jacquelyn to grow up to become more beautiful than when she was a child. To wear only the finest white silks and laces, designer hats galore. Her lips were to be a shade of cherry red that never faded. But she would never get the chance.

“It was a day like any other. Boys were swarming around her from the moment she stepped out of her house, ‘til the moment she stepped back in after school. It is here that our story begins.

“Jacquelyn had just walked in the front door of the house she and her family shared, leaving a mass of disappointed boys outside. Her mother’s job as an interior designer kept her away from home a lot, while her father’s job as a chef caused him to come home late most nights, this night being no exception. This night was no different, leaving Jacquelyn alone in the house.”

The children stared at the old storyteller, Ms. Ame, mouths agape due to the mystifying story, eyes wide in wonder and fear of what would happen next. Unbeknownst to them, their parents were behind them, not knowing whether to be madder at Ms. Ame or their children.

“Ryan” one angry father yelled at his son, “get away from her! She shouldn’t associate with people, none the less CHILDERN!” He seemed to spit out the word ‘her’ and ‘she’-as though she wasn’t there and was the most hated of villains.

More yelling was heard from other parents as they couldn’t decide whether to be panicked, afraid, or angry.

“Why, father?” the boy now identified as Ryan questioned.

“Because,” his father retorted “She is evil! And her lies will taint your mind! She will brainwash you! All her stories are LIES!” he spat.

Over the next few minutes, Ms. Ame witnessed the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles drag the children away from herself. Ms. Ame now seemed to turn to the audience. “Will you listen to my tale? Bah, of course you will. You didn’t leave when I gave the warning. Now where was I…” Ms. Ame seemed to ponder-her mind troubled by something or other though her last sentence was filled with a kind of satiric humor for the telling of her Jacquelyn’s death seemed to soothe her mind-lift something off of her chest. “Ah, yes, I remember now. Child, you listen to the truth, ya hear?”

The story struck up again, continuing where it had been left off-like someone had just pushed the pause button and was now pushing play. “Her father’s expectations for Jacquelyn were much too high for her to meet. Having had a big science test earlier that day that her father knew about, he was, of course, eager to hear of her markings on it. Science being Jacquelyn’s worst subject, she had received a low score, angering her father when he came home and saw the mark. After eating a small dinner and being ‘punished’ by her father’s angry yelling’s, Jacquelyn was sent up to bed.

“Though that was only to the knowledge of her father. Jacquelyn had actually escaped through her upper bedroom window, running free-with a bag containing a few things-to one of Mironda’s small department stores. Once there, she made her way to the back where woman’s clothing was located and quickly picked out a fancy dress along with some fine and expensive jewelry. After paying for the clothing and accessories, she made her way to another small store where she changed into the clothing.

“Dashing down the street to her next stop (which happened to be a very ritzy hotel) she produced some money from her bag, asking to stay in a suite. After paying and settling into the room, one last item was produced from the bag. A knife.

“Flicking the knife open, a pause in space, matter, and time itself seemed to settle over the room as Jacquelyn prepared herself for something that would affect the town of Mironda for, perhaps, the rest of its existence.”

Jacquelyn smiled down on her best friend, Ame, as she finished telling the story to those that would listen to the truth. Jacquelyn’s ghost had come back to tell Ame, her best childhood friend, about what she had done. Ame told the story of Jacquelyn to all that listen, though most turned deaf ears. She went on like this until some believed she was a witch, speaking in only lies and riddles, tricking them all. And over the years, the stories accumulated.

Some claim it’s a myth. Some claim that it’s just a made up story. Some believe it to be true. But few believe the actual truth.

The Silly Barrette Who Loved Art

This was actually sent off to colleges as my college essay. Please enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who only wore dresses and skirts if they flew out around her when she twirled. The little girl, Emi, spent her time roaming the skies in search of the perfect idea for an art project.
On her journey through the skies, Emi came across several strange sandals. One was a flip-flop named Danielle. They were fast friends. Later, Emi and Danielle came across a specific purple bag named Jami. They were fast friends, too. The three were the best of friends and toured the celestial art communities together. Emi spent much time doing art one of which featured Danielle as an elf and Jami as a mermaid and another which was a blob drawn on and morphed by various people that helped.

Emi, Danielle and Jami thought of visiting the ever-popular (and elusive) Cloud Nine where people were making the 'American Dream' come true: enough sunshine dust to finance their spacious sky-home. Her soul resistant to the though of the chains of such a mundane purpose in life, Emi continued to do the minimum to get by and continued to follow her dream to pursue art.
One day, passing yet another cloud with a silver lining, Jami asked "how in the four-and-a-half skies do we find the perfect art project idea?" This question stumped Emi; she'd been looking for so long, she'd just about forgotten how to look anymore. However, with some quick thinking, she whipped up an answer within moments. She told Jami and the agreeing Danielle that in order to find the perfect Art project idea, they needed six bugs, enough confetti to fill a pool, lots of people throwing balloons of paint at a canvas and the perfect glass of lemonade. Oh, and God.
Jami and Danielle agreed. Their effervescent friend was right. They set out again, this time heading to a new and unexplored realm through an unknown dark gray fluffy mass. A hedgehog warned them of the danger but they pressed forward, determined to explore part of the sky they hadn't seen before. They snapped cautiously to warn off the terrifying, flying ants. A bright flash blinded the three travelers and a great clap drowned out their snapping. Hard of hearing and near blind, Emi, Danielle and Jami huddled together, moisture thick on their bodies. Suddenly, they were moving and their eyesight and hearing was coming back. They had been moved to a lovely, gray warehouse called Cup of Heaven where six butterflies stood, guarding their king.

Mattatogie, their king, was waiting to question them. "How in the four-and-a-half skies do we find the perfect art project idea?" he asked, desperation staining his voice.
Nine terrifying, flying ants closed in around them. They were named World, Flesh, Temptation, Depression, Hate, Homework, Cuss, Drugs and Math.
Terrified, Emi hurriedly looked around the room. There were 22 watercolor sets, seven lemons, 12 jars of acrylic paint, 95 tubs of glitter and more. The butterflies, called Peace, Joy, Faith, Honesty, Chemistry and Insanity, watched Emi with intensity, awaiting her response.
"By the four-and-a-half skies," she exclaimed, turning to Jami and Danielle. "We've found the perfect art project!"
Quickly, King Mattatogie, his butterfly warriors, Emi, Jami and Danielle rushed to carry out Emi's instructions. The butterflies began squeezing lemons, Emi rounded up the confetti. Jami, Danielle and King Mattatogie prepared the paint filled balloons. As if rehearsed, they each came together on Emi's word, the butterflies passing out lemonade, Emi jumping into a confetti pool and King Mattatogie, Jami and Danielle throwing the paint-filled balloons at one of the walls. As the falling confetti settled, the 9 terrifying, flying ants were nowhere to be seen and the confetti was sticking to the paint covered wall. It was perfect.
"In the four-and-a-half skies," they breathed as they looked at their creation. "We've found the perfect art project idea."
They sat back and sipped their butterfly-prepared lemonade, enjoying their community created art. After all, the perfect glass of lemonade requires personal ingredients: life, sunshine, good friends and art. Their own creation, their own art made it all worth it.

Mattatogie offered the three the chance to stay and continue to pursue art in his institute and Emi readily accepted, eager to expand her horizons and continue to find the perfect art projects.
And so, in short, life is all about finding six bugs, enough confetti to fill a pool you didn't know was there, lots of people throwing balloons of paint at a wall and making the glass of lemonade perfect. Oh, and God.

A Chicken To A Fish

I actually wrote this one WITH my little brother, the same one who inspired the Gustav trilogy. We alternated, each writing the next part of the story. Then I got tired and fell asleep and he finished it off with the brilliant "Chapter Two."

One day a chicken named Von Fabio decided that because he could not fly he wanted to be able to swim. So. Von Fabio went to a well known eatery and purchased a cake. But this was not an ordinary cake. For it contained special ingredients. A condor egg, 2 and a half pounds of diamonds, and a loaf of Gouda cheese. Von Fabio took his strange cake home and put it in his bathtub which was painted all the colors of a bright rainbow! He then got in to this colorful bathtub to start eating his cake. But with rainbows comes rain, as we all know. His shower suddenly turned on!
"Lets run to the dresser for cover!" Von Fabio shouted to no one in particular.
So he ran as fast as he could to the dresser, narrowly dodging some water and then it happened. The water hit the cake!
"Lets run to the dresser for cover!" the cake shouted to no one in particular.
Von Fabio stared at the cake in wonderment as it sprouted fins and swam through the air towards the dresser and floated beside him. But the cake couldn't breathe! He was like a fish out of water! So Von Fabio took it in his hands and ran back to the bathtub. But the water had washed away the rainbow paint and the shower had stopped! No water to be found! But being a fast thinking chicken, Von Fabio ran for the sink!
As he was running the cake started to drip from his hands, the fish said one word to Von Fabio. "Ocean." Von Fabio made it to the sink and knew what to do. As if he were an otter, Von Fabio pulled the cake apart like a sea urchin and feasted! After a minute or so the deed was complete. the cake was gone. nothing happened at first. But then he felt strange. And then he had a sudden craving for water.
"Lets run to the dresser for water!" Von Fabio shouted to no one in particular.
So he did just that. But when he arrived he found not only was it full of cups of water, but there was also a tunnel about his size filled with water. After downing enough water to quench him momentarily, he took some of the cups and turned them into puppets (or cuppets, as some call them). That way he would not have to shout to no one in particular, he could shout to the cuppets.
Then Von Fabio said to the cuppets "Let us journey through the tunnel!" He picked them up and they did just that.

Chapter 2: The Land of Bright Colors
And as they swam, they ooh'd and ahh'd at the beautiful colors in the tunnel. And then there was a bright light ahead. It was a giant cavern! There lay a gigantic ruin filled with statues mostly with their faces missing. One of the crumbling statues looked like it might be a giraffe inscribed with the word "Shelby." Another looked sort of like an elephant inscribed with "Ralf." But one in the center was completely unharmed. He swam closer for a better look. It was a giant fish with the inscription "Von Fabio." As he looked closer at the fish, he gazed into the eye of the statue and could just not look away! He was paralyzed by what seemed to be the beauty of this statue. And he felt like this statue was pulling him in! Joe, one of the cuppets, said "Don't do it! it's a trap!" Another cuppet, Claire, said "Mr. Fabio, whatever you do, don't go towards the light at the end of the tunnel!" But it was too late, after staring at the eye for a while, Von Fabio suddenly sprouted fins, and changed into the shape of the gigantic fish statue!

And this is how a chicken named Von Fabio turned into a giant fish.

Davie And The Space Bunyips

I wrote this for my dad, Dave, for Christmas.

Once upon a time there was a boy named Louis. But he went by Davie because his dad's name was Louis too. Davie was a silly little boy with glasses and he could be scary at times but also scared at times.
One year, Davie went to Australia. While in Australia, Davie ate a lot of weird stuff. From shark fin to vegemite, Davie had some tasty-weird food and some icky-weird food. But food wasn't the only weirdness Davie experienced in Australia.
While in Australia, Davie heard about a legend while sitting around a campfire late one night, dingoes howling in the distance. Someone told of the Space Bunyips. The are very similar to their earth counterparts except for two main things: their fur is green and they live in space.
The description of the Space Bunyips wasn't the scary thing, though. The legend of the Space Bunyips was the truly terrifying thing to Davie. He was told that the Space Bunyips, in fits of intergalactic rage, would swoop down in their Bucket-Ships and kidnap unsuspecting boys around Davie's age and harvest their saliva.
Trembling, Davie left the campfire for the comfort of his hotel, keeping an eye on the dark skies for any hints of Bucket-Ships carrying enraged Space Bunyips. But, when Davie reached the automatic doors of his hotel, he stopped watching for a second, instead focusing his attention on opening the doors with his Jedi-mind-force. But, the split second was all the Space Bunyips needed to zap him up into their Bucket-Ship. Knocked out cold, Davie was flown away.
When Davie came to, six Space Bunyips were crowded around him. Terrified, Davie tried to get away but was thwarted by the small confinement and Space Bunyips blocking the exit. Timidly, Davie pleased "please let me go!"
Confused, the Space Bunyips shrugged then the shortest said "th' bukkit haz u."
Still afraid, Davie replied "yes, I see that. But can I leave?"
The Space Bunyips looked sad. Quietly, the shortest one said "th' bukkit haz us 2."
Davie paused, trying to come to terms with what they short Space Bunyip had told him. "Wait. So you guys are prisoners of this Bucket-Ship too?"
Knowingly, all six Space Bunyips nodded. The short one then said "wii wur captured liek pokémanz bai th' eevul Bukkit-Ship liek u, Deyvee."
With this information, Davie and the Space Bunyips set to plotting their escape. After many days, saving their soap rations and practicing their walrus calls, they decided they were ready. They all stood on a tiny table, the Bunyips using their salivating skills to fill the Bucket-Ship with spit. Then they added their saved-up soap. Using very helpful whisks, Davie and the Space Bunyips whisked the saliva and soap into bubbly oblivion. The Bucket-Ship angry with the soapy saliva in it began to look for a place to discharge it's contents. When Davie gave the signal, he and the Space Bunyips started frantically making walrus noises. Suddenly the Bucket-Ship began whimpering and was thrashing from side to side. Davie and the Space Bunyips clung to each other in fear. Relief flooded the disgruntled team of Bunyips and boy as a walrus looked in the Bucket-Ship and saw them.
The walrus set Davie and the Space Bunyips free. After they thanked the helpful walrus, they parted and just barley heard the walrus say "now i haz mai bukkit bak." With that, Davie and the Space Bunyips returned to their homes. But when Davie tried to convince his friends that he was abducted and met Space Bunyips, they didn't believe him. But Davie knew.
The End

How Harry Potter (and Twilight) Should Have Ended

The world had only half left Harry's mouth when Cedric Diggory popped in between Harry and Voldemort. There was a cry of "CEDWARD" from a group of girls who, out of sheer giddyness, conjured up a mass of apples and red ribbons. Cedric hushed them with a wave of his hand and spoke.
"You all believed me dead! But the Dark Lord did not cast the killing curse on me! NO! He, with his new tongue, slipped and shouted 'Avada KaDiva' which turned me into what I am! A SPARKLY VAMPIRE!"
A number of the fangirls fainted as Cedward stepped into a patch of light shining in through the broken wall and his skin began to sparkle. Voldemort's mouth twitched.
"You claim that I did this to you," Voldemort calmly asked.
Harry stood, dumbfounded.
"Yes! And I have never felt better! In fact, I have found a fabulous bride whose clumsiness rival's that of Tonks's! She's so plain that she's beautiful! She smells like strawberries! She even attracts werewolves like Tonks did! But my Bella is far more fabulous!"
"Very well," Voldemort sighed. "But the Dark Lord does not tolerate glittery-vampires-who-lived! AVADA KADAVRA!"
Harry couldn't say that he was sad to see him go this time around. But the same couldn't be said of the fangirls. That moment would later be known as the fangirl-cry heard 'round the world. They brandished their wands and began slinging Glitterskin hexes and Ambereye charms at the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters but Voldemort's army was far superior. Fangirls were dropping dead left and right while the Death Eaters were fine.
"Got any twos," Harry asked Neville.
"Nope. Go fish."
"Sure is sad about that Cedric fellow. Avada Kadiva, that's got to be a fate worse than death," Ginny said.
"He might even be worse than Lockheart," Hermione retorted. "At least Lockheart didn't go on and on about some muggle he loved."
From a far corner of the great hall, the last fangirl fell.
"Oh, they're gone" Harry asked, startled. "Well. Back to the battle then. Thanks for taking care of the pest problem, Voldy."
Voldemort glared.
"They're rabid, they are," said Ron. "Just like Lavender."
Hermione surpressed a giggle with a glare.
"AVADA KADAVRA" and "EXPELIARMUS" Voldemort and Harry cried, together. But Voldemort's wand flew out of his hand and Harry's Seeker skills enabled him to catch it with ease. Voldemort dropped dead.
And with that, Harry and Ginny had kids and named them after the people Harry loved most. Ron and Hermione were somehow in love and had kids too. Neville started teaching Herbology and Avada Kadiva became the fourth unforgivable curse.
The end.

The Three Rogues

This is part 3 of the Gustav trilogy

Three rogues wandered a distant galaxy. Mysteries pressed in on them: what was the volume of human node? Why weren't there any Television stickers near them? And were there any answers? Answers were what they sought. The three rogues, two tall, one both short and small, were clothed in long, black, hooded robes that hid their true identities: A young boy named Matt, a young girl named Emi and a young mustache named Gustav. They tramped along the galaxy, looking for answers and pranking people.
"We need answers," Gustav said. "This needs to be resolved."
Gustav was the most roguish of his comrades, you see, for once, a long time ago he was shaved off of Matt's face by vengeful zombies and was only allowed to live by becoming a zombie himself. However, being a zombie, he resented his own life (seeing as his brother zombies had hated him so much in the first place) and tried to do away with himself more than once. But being undead, it was easier said than done.
"We need answers," Matt agreed. "This needs to be resolved."
They trekked further, in hopes of finding a zombie or friendly, teal-marker bearing alien. No hope found them, though, for many moons. They stumbled around on a large rock that was about 71% water as far as surface area went.
Emi walked up to the first living being she found.
"We need answers," she said. "This needs to be resolved." She gestured toward Gustav's cloaked form.
The leaves just swayed in the breeze.
Confused by the life form's lack of response, the three rogues walked in the opposite direction. Gustav turned back, wanting to hurt the annoying life form but Matt and Emi urged him on. They continued to seek life forms that could hold the answers to the questions they had.
They finally reached a city. Matt and Emi were suddenly hit with a wave of familiarity but Gustav only wanted to hit something else. They entered the city and then entered a building. Matt and Emi went up to the counter.
"We need answers," Matt said, pulling back his hood. "This needs to be resolved." He pointed at his face.
The man at the counter flipped a cup around before pouring juice in it. Two watched in wonder while Gustav watched in anger while the man added more things to the cup. A dash of paprika, a book, some lime zest, and sticky notes. The cup's contents were dumped into a blender and then whirred into a blended oblivion. When the machine quieted down, the man poured the mixture back into the cup and slid it to Matt.
Curious, Matt and Emi sniffed the cup. It smelled like cupcakes. Go figure. Content with his sleuthing nose's findings, he sipped.
There was a bolt of lavender lightning and then the lights went out. Everyone in the Juice Bar turned to look at Matt. Matt, however, was flopping on the floor lie a fish.
"We need answers," Emi screached at the man. "This needs to be resolved!"
The man just looked at Matt, a bored expression on his face. Matt continued to flop. A flutter of black cloth fell to the floor but all eyes were glued to Matt. Another bolt of the strange, lavender lightning zipped across Matt's face and, surprisingly, left behind a trail of hair that looked surprisngly like Gustav.
The lights flashed back on.
Matt stood up.
Gustav was not in his cloak.
Matt and Emi stared at Matt's face curiously.
The ingredients, they realized, were all the things they needed to reverse zombie-ism and put a shaved-off mustache back on a boy's face.
Emi hugged Matt.
Suddenly, they knew.
21.6 decibels. They were at the store. Only when you don't expect it.
"We have answers," they concluded. "This is resolved."

Gustav The Mustache

This is part 2 in the Gustav trilogy

Gustav The Mustache

There once was a mustache. It lived on a very reluctant boy's face. People teased and tormented the boy about his silly mustache. The boy couldn't take it any more. So the boy, Matt was his name, expressed to his trusted sister that he should shave it off. The sister, however, was horrified.
"You can't shave it off," she cried. "It has feelings too!"
Through a very strange series of events, Matt and his sister, Emi, came to an understanding of the mustache. The 'it' was really a he. A he named Gustav. Emi and Matt were amazed at this strange creature living right on Matt's face. Their amazed state was only topped by the surprise they felt when Gustav talked to them.
"You can't shave me off," Gustav said. "I have feelings too!"
Emi and Matt were convinced.
They all became friends with one another and Gustav and Emi even tried dating for a little while. But Matt always seemed to be in the way. So they put their feelings aside, just until they could work something out.
One day, Emi suggested that Matt shave Gustav off and give him to her.
"You can't shave Gustav off," Matt cried. "I have feelings too!"
(Matt didn't tell her that she would look silly with a mustache anyway).
Emi wasn't willing to risk her friendship with Matt just to have Gustav so she let it go.
A few days later, Matt, Emi and Gustav were walking in the park when suddenly Gustav pulled 6 balloons out of Matt's left cheek. They all stared in wonderment. Then, Gustav pulled a teal maker out of Emi's right shoulder. Some snowflake confetti came raining out of Matt's hair when Gustav commanded it to. These were all the things needed to make friends, they realized! Gustav, Matt and Emi all wanted friends.
"We can't shave Gustav off," they all cried. "I have feelings too!"
So at midnight, Matt, Emi and Gustav ran into the middle of the street and threw the confetti around, having some grand confetti-ball fights and yelled "SNOWSTORM" so loud it woke up the entire neighborhood. The residents all came streaming out of their houses. Matt, Emi and Gustav were ready, teal markers in hand to mark the good, friend-worthy people from the zombies.
The zombies weren't too happy about being drawn on, though.
Matt, Emi and Gustav ran toward the pier, hoping to be able to shove the zombies off of it. The zombies quickly overtook them.
Matt and Emi convinced the zombies of the truth, that Gustav had made all the markers and confetti appear.
The zombies were convinced they should shave Gustav off.
"You can't shave me off," Gustav cried. "I have feelings too!"
Emi and Matt were convinced.
The zombies weren't.
The zombies ruthlessly shaved Gustav off.
The zombies celebrated.
Gustav mourned the loss of his life.
Emi mourned the loss of her love.
Matt mourned the loss of his friendly mustache.

An Unusual Love Story

This is part 1 in the Gustav trilogy.

There was a Giraffe named Shelby. She had a long neck and liked to eat leaves (which freaked some people out).
There was also an Elephant named Ralf. He had big ears that he liked to wave and a trunk that he liked to fill with water and shoot at people.
One day they met.
"I think you're kinda special," Shelby told Ralf. "Just like soup."
Ralf thought that was the most romantic thing he had ever heard.
They fell in love and got married.
At their wedding, Ralf told Shelby something.
"I think you're kinda special," he said. "Just like soot."
Shelby was flattered.
While they were riding off into the sunset, they realized something though. They both wanted a child but they weren't sure what this child would be. After all, Shelby was a giraffe and Ralf was an elephant. A normal child a giraffe and elephant do not make.
So they decided to put off having a child.
"I think you're kinda special," Shelby said one day a few years down the road. "Just like sardines."
And with that sentence, Ralf realized that whatever their child was, they would love it all the same.
And a few months later, Shelby was expecting.
They at once panicked. They would love the child but how would the child feel about his strange being and origins?
With nothing to do but wait and prepare themselves, Shelby and Ralf waited and prepared themselves.
When Shelby gave birth, it was to a beautiful baby mustache which they named Gustav.
"I think you're kinda special," they told him. "Just like Santa."
Gustav however, being a baby mustache, had no idea what this meant.
And thus, Gustav, the baby of Shelby the Giraffe and Ralf the Elephant ran away from home to go find a young boys face.


I think it all started with my little brother (not really related to me). I wrote a story for him called Gustav the Mustache and it's gone from there. Here, I will post the random stories that sometime are a bit more bedtime than others and sometimes just won't make sense and sometimes are part of a series (sorta). Please enjoy and even if you don't read them before bed, I hope this makes you smile.