Princess Kim and the Flying Cars

This is both a birthday present for a dear friend (sweet little Asian-Kim) and one of my personal challenges (which I clearly fail at). It is a combo of what Kim requested (flying cars that grow mustaches) and a suggested plot from SeventhSanctum.
Enjoy?

Once upon a time, there was a distant planet filled with cars. The planet was shaped, oddly enough, like a tea bag. The cars that inhabited this planet endearingly named it Ishnes. The capital of Isnhes is also its most visited town, a very touristy place.
One day, after watching plenty of people pass through his kingdom, the king of Ishness grew angry. "Tazoya!" King Subearl yelled for the royal spineless wigmaker.
"Yes your highness?" Tazoya cowered.
"Make me different," King Subearl bellowed. "Hundreds of thousands visit this place. I want to stand out!"
"H-how shall I accomplish that," Tazoya stuttered.
"Grow me... A mustache!"
"But... Sir."
"Yes! I think a mustache shall do nicely! Now get to work you spineless wigmaker!"
The spineless wigmaker scurried from the room.
Over the next few days, Tazoya tried, erred and tried again to make King Subearl grow a mustache. But it was not to be. King Subearl grew angry and stormed around, coating most everything in the palace with car exhaust. Tazoya grew even more frightened and spineless until it hit him. He would form a fake mustache and stick it on King Subearl. If it didn't fool the king, then it would at least buy Tazoya some more time. Yes. He thought it was a fine plan.
"Your highness! I have completed your mustache work!"
King Subearl was rudely awakened from his vehicular slumber. "Hurrrrruhhh... What did you say, Tazoya? And why the blazes is my lip itchy?!"
"It's your new mustache, Highness!"
"Ah! Yes! Good work," King Subearl praised. "Now get out of my room."
Tazoya left and King Subearl began to comb his mustache. "Ah, my pretty. I shall be the only one on Ishnes to have one of you... No one else shall."
Of course, the peoples (well, cars really) of Ishnes saw King Subearl's mustache and immediately wanted one! Tazoya was getting too many orders to even think of keeping up with.
"King Subearl, I'm getting too many mustache orders to even think of keeping up with!" Tazoya spinelessly moaned.
"Good!" the king bellowed. "I don't want you to make anyone else grow a mustache! I will be the only one with a mustache!"
"What is this I hear?" the lovely and fair Princess Kim asked as she rolled into the grand room.
"Well, I... I just..." King Subearl failed to make a coherent sentence. Princess Kim tended to intimidate people.
"You think you have the authority to place a monopoly on facial hair? I am questioning your sanity, dear father."
Princess Kim was pretty smart.
"I... But... Wait. Huh?"
King Subearl was pretty not smart.
"Well, I just wanted to stand out from the masses of tourists."
"Father, you DO stand out! You are king, after all."
"I suppose you are right, my princess. I suppose you are right."
And so they celebrated Princess Kim's birthday where she drove with only the handsomest princes. And one even asked to marry her! His name was Prince Suju.
And then all the cars on Ishnes discovered this account of their activities and revolted against the author.
But Princess Kim and Prince Suju drove the night away together and lived happily ever after.
The end.

Once Upon A Wednesday

This beautiful tale was written by a dear friend while we and another friend hung out at a coffee shop wearing mustaches made of construction paper. It was one of the best days of my life and one of my fondest memories. Green/Michael (friend) wrote this story but it stars both me and Jessica/Javela (other friend). I hope that he doesn't mind me posting this here. Please enjoy.
P.S. This is the first story being posted from my NEW LAPTOP! :D
P.P.S. I wish you could see the beautiful pictures that Green drew to go with this story.

Once upon a Wednesday, in The Future! 2 hundred banana spiders set off on a crate of fruit to find the fabled bullfrog of power. But there was a problem... 3 obstacles stood in their way!
1. A blue dragon who breathed poison apples
2. A village of singing rocks (who only sing Katy Parry songs)
3. The cave of mildly bothersome breezes! (Gasp!)
So the 2 hundred banana spiders journeyed to find the bullfrog of power and learn about the art of making caramel apples (Apples!). After flying their fruit crate for a day and a half, the spiders came across the 1st obstacle. Everything grew cold, and the writing changed colors... "Halt!" said a voice. "Who disturbs my slumber party!" said the voice again. The spiders wanted to leave, but their self esteem coach, Ollie the Flying Walrus said, "No! You have to learn how to make caramel apples so that you don't die of hunger." he said. The dragon angered back, "I have apples to spare... Poison Apples!" The dragon laughed a mean laugh, "Ha Ha Ha! Ha!" The spiders took out their prison shivs (I can't read those two words) and stabbed the dragon in the legs. "Ouch! My legs!" said the dragon (in a different color) "I will be nice now suddenly!" "Hooray!" cried the banana spiders and Ollie (also in a different color).
Then they left, and ran into the 2nd challenge! OH NO! The singing rocks were singing loudly Katy Parry songs, and it hurt the ears of the spiders to hear them. "We are rocks" said the mayor of the singing rock village and left. Luckily the 2 hundred banana spiders had prepared for this and deployed their emergency earmuffs, but they had only 174 earmuffs! So 26 spiders died. Oh well, life goes on. SO the spiders and an Orangutan continued on their way to the 3rd challenge. This was the hardest obstacle yet. Color change!
Luckily Emi, Jessica, and Green were there to help them! They blocked the remaining 174 spiders from the breezes in the cave of mildly bothersome breezes! (Gasp!)
"We are bothered!" They yelled. The spiders felt bad that their friends were upset, but not too bad. "Are you ok?" They asked. "Indeed! The breezes are not that bothersome, only slightly so. Our mustaches far outweigh the peril. Ho! Travel onwards our many legged companions!
Finally, the team emerged from the cave. "Thank you!" yelled the spiders. "Away!" Emi, Michael (Green), and Jessica triple yelled back, as the donned their space suits and flew back to their Ice Cream moon base.
The 174 spiders had finally reached the bullfrog of power. "I am the bullfrog of power! Behold my power-ness and fantastic coolness." he croakified.
"We want to learn how to make caramel apples so that we don't starve." The spiders said.
"I wish that I could help, but alas, i know not the secrets of caramel apple making." the B of P cobbed, in a nice green color. The spiders said, "No problem! Do not cry, for we have a self-esteem walrus with us!"
And Ollie coached the bullfrog of power to be happy with his body image, and together thy created the internet, so that they could learn how to make caramel apples!
And then they had a giant party!
The end.

JUST AN UPDATE

Don't get too excited. This isn't a new story. :(
I just wanted to let the o.1141694763111 people that actually read this blog know that I have lots of exciting things in the works!

My newest Self Challange: Princess Kim and the Flying Cars. It's a (late) birthday present for a dear friend.
Then Bertha the Mermaid which I have had the idea for a long time. As well as BellaBeth the Alien.
And then there's Noodletopia which is also for a dear friend.
And then. Princess Jami and the Great Chikin' Battle. Also for another dear friend.
And Javela and the Vampire Gerbils. For another dear friend.
Oh, and maybe the Midday Chronicles of Red. It's about a ginger vampire who falls in love with clumsy and mopey average-girl Ella. Jami's helping with that one.
Anyway. Now you know. If you actually reply and let me know which one you want most, maybe I'll work on getting that one finished up.
So it goes.

<3 and thanks a million for actually reading these!
-Emi

Chipmunk Dreams

This was sent to NickyNick (via text message) last night/this morning. He didn't reply. I wonder why. Did grandma swallow the fly? Perhaps she'll die.

Once upon a time there was a rabid chipmunk. The rabid chipmunk, Sal, spent his time chasing cars and jumping on crunchy leaves. One day Sal ran into a coconut wizard. The wizard promised Sal that he could help him achieve his dream. So the coconut wizard turned Sal into a dog. But Sal the dog chased mailmen. And surprisingly didn't have rabies. The end.

As you can tell, last night was not a good night for bedtime stories for me. :(

(I wrote this story and Creme Brulee last night.)

Frog Noms

This was sent to the fabulous Lindsay D. (via text message) a while ago. It made us both want a churro.

Once upon a time there was a tiny frog. He didn't get stuck on a windshield but he did hitchhike to Peru. He did so by taming a wild turtle and eating fies. Of course. When he got to Peru, he decided to eat a delicious churro. Because they're tasty. The end.

Creme Brulee

Hopefully the first in a series of challenges. I hope to take a "story" from http://seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=storygen and then flesh it out and write it. Though, for this first one, the hard part was giving it a title.

Once upon a time, there was an erratic chemist. The chemist, a lovely lady named Thalia, was also a princess. She would lock herself away in her tower (all the best princesses have one) and mix and pour and study for hours on end.

One day, Princess Thalia put on a pretty traveling cloak over her lab coat and set off into the village in search of an ingredient she needed. She arrived at the shops and made her way through the various stalls looking and looking for this certain ingredient.

After many stalls and stores, she finally found a stop that looked like it might carry the item she was after. Dipping her head as she entered the store, Princess Thalia began to peruse. She didn’t notice the dark hooded man behind her. But he clearly noticed her.

Finally, at a random time, the hooded man pulled out a dagger and held it to the small of the princesses back. “Come with me, or risk the consequences,” he forcefully whispered in Thalia’s ear.

Frightened as she should be, the princess shot the clerk a frightened look. However, the clerk pretended to not notice and continued to clean the counter. He was quite the unheroic clerk.

Slowly, the hooded man lead Princess Thalia to the exit and then into an alleyway. It was dark, of course. The hooded man quickly blindfolded Thalia and tied her hands behind her back before leading her on again.

After much pointless walking, the hooded man finally removed the blindfold. Princess Thalia quickly surveyed her surroundings, hopelessly searching for an exit. Turning her attention back to the hooded man, she spat “why have you brought me here?”

Ever calm, and quite possibly stupidly so, the hooded man replied “I am an investor. And I am in love with a beautiful girl. I have heard of your chemist talents and I hope to use you to win her love.”

“Why should I help you,” Princess Thalia growled.

“Because I have you kidnapped and you’ll get bored. Plus, I have cinnamon.”

Taken aback, Princess Thalia had to compose herself. “Cinn.. Cinnamon? YOU have cinnamon?!”

“Yes?”

“Fine. I’ll do it,” Thalia resolved.

And so she set to work chemisting her chemist things. Mixing, pouring, measuring and more. After hours of slaving away, her work was complete.

Thalia shoved a dish in front of the hooded man. “Here. The perfect creme brulee.”

“And it will win me her heart?”

“Of course! No one can resist the creamy and sweet creme brulee!”

The hooded man had his love sent into the room. She was a pretty girl with smooth hair. She sat at the table and the hooded man pushed the creme brulee in front of her. She took a bite. Shock crossed her face! Then a look of bliss. Thalia smirked. Her creme brulee was famous!

And then the shock continued. The girls face twisted and then puffed up. Then the girl fell out of her chair. Thalia jumped up and checked the girls pulse. Dead.

The hooded man spoke up with a small voice. “Does creme brulee have milk in it?”

“Well, yeah,” Princess Thalia responded. “Hence the CREME.”

“Then that explains it. She was severely lactose intolerant.” He seemed sad. “I didn’t even know her name.”

“Wow,” Princess Thalia said. “You ARE stupid.”

“Anyway, here’s your cinnamon.” And with that, the hooded man sent Princess Thalia, the eccentric chemist, on her way.

The end.