Monday, July 11, 2011

Princess Alpie's Favorite Story

This kinda ties in with Princess Alpie's first story which can be found here:
Please read that first and refresh your memory.

Dedication: I would like to first thank Princess Alpie for being so wonderful and always finding me funny, no matter what it is. Second, I would like to thank Princess Chiano for filming my insanity so that I could later recall the tale I told and rework it into Princess Alpie's original tale. Third, I would like to thank Princess Haylie for not only helping me to see the lovelyness of my insanity, but also for her love of "the spork story."

Foreword: "Hey diddle, the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
The little dog laughed to see such a sport
And the dish ran away with the spoon." - Mother Goose (not the Goose Girl, Princess Anidori-Kiladra/Isi)

-I lose cupcakes all the time
-I know they just run away. Just like the dish and the spoon, man
-Haha, spoon-man
-No, the dish ran away with the spoon
-I know, but you said spoon-man
-Well the dish was obviously very pregnant when they left. Except it was the spoon that was a girl because the spoon and the dish ran away and then the spoon had a child but it had fork’s hair. Ok. Fork and spoon. Spork is born. Spoon calls up Fork and says “he has your hair.”

Chapter 1: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Alpinayniya. She was a fair and just ruler who made friends with the she-gremlin and author of her favorite tale, Ay’m. Princess Alpie’s favorite tale was a story about silverware. It was a tragic tale of love found, love lost, treachery, and heartache. This is that tale.

Chapter 2: Once upon a time, in another existence entirely, there stood a kingdom of an unusual sort. Behind the scenes lived the somewhat eccentric queen of sorts, Ay’m. Though the subjects of the kingdom didn’t quite understand that The Most High Ay’m was in control of everything and that their entire existence was a result of her every whim, their stories were written nonetheless.
One day, in the unusual sort of kingdom, there were some cupcakes. But Ay’m lost them! She was distraught at her loss, but marveled at how it paralleled the lives of one of her ladies in waiting. You see, Spoon was The Most High Ay’m’s best friend and favorite ladies maid (not Spoon-Man. Spoon-Man is both male and a superhero, two things that Spoon is not). However, one night after some sporting fiddle music and incredible acrobatic stunts performed by a cow (which were, of course, mocked by Ay’m’s Pomeranian-Poodle mix), Spoon ran away. You see, Spoon had found her true love, Dish the StableMaster, and the only way Spoon and Dish could be together was if they left. The Most High Ay’m was somewhat of a love cynic and would not have approved of the pure and true love that Spoon and Dish shared.
Spoon and Dish left for the deep forests of Syertaon. They built a small cupboard between some birch trees and made quite a cozy home for themselves. The cupboard was a big change for Spoon after sleeping in the Silverware Drawer for her whole life, but she was determined to make it work. However, they hit a bump in the road. Something had gone on in the silverware drawer, though, something that made Dish doubt everything. Spoon had a child. But it clearly had Fork’s hair and none of Dish’s features. Spoon only drove the wedge between them deeper by naming the child Spork instead of Spish or Doon.
Spoon felt that the only right thing to do was to inform Fork of their child. Dish, feeling betrayed, bid his Spoon a treasonous farewell. Spoon and Spork traveled their way back to the palace where Fork was informed of his child. He seemed to take the news better than Dish had. Dish continued to live in the forest of Syertaon, heartbroken and forgotten, while Spoon, Fork, and Spork served their roles as utensils in Ay’m’s kingdom, where The Most High Ay’m got her cynical, tragic-love ending.

Chapter 3: For some reason, Princess Alpie found this story to be fantastic and her favorite. Ay’m still doesn’t quite understand why.
Oh well.

The End.

This story was written for the lovely Princess Alpie's birthday. I promised her a story and she mentioned that a continuation of Princess Alpie and the she-gremlin Ay'm (who is me. Princess Alpie calls me a gremlin) would be acceptable. However, while refreshing my memory of the first story I wrote for Princess Alpie, I couldn't resist writing the tale of love found, love lost, treachery, and heartache.
A note to everyone? I wrote this at 3am after getting two and a half hours of sleep between 6am and 8:30am the day before. There's also a video that kinda ties in but unless you know me personally, you probably will never see it.

Happy birthday, Princess Alpie!!!!

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